I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Randomize
