so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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