i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
