she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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