we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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