I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
