There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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