are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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