Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So much Jack, so little girl.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Congratulations! We have a period
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