Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
