Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
