you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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