Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
