i think my tv is drunk
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
