We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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