sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
