Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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