so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize