You smell like stripper and shame
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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