i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
