If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
