oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
