oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
