Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
