never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
