a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
