If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
