You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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