I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
