Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
