Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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