dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
