i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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