I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
When are your genitals available?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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