I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
