i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
