how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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