I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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