He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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