I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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