I'm laying in your front yard are you home
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
