Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
