I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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