omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
