Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
