I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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