So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
where are my eyebrows?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
