May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
