oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
COCAINE IS GR8
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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