physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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