thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
